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[16 May 2005|08:02pm] |
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mood |
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 scared |
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life is just one big fucking wasting of time, fuck it. it doesnt get any better but it can always get worse. never expect the most out of people you care for because in reality they are just putting in the same half ass amount of effort you put in.
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| bored |
[18 Mar 2005|07:04pm] |
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mood |
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nervous |
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Talking on the phone with lindsey about random shit. me ali and lea are all grounded this weekend because of me having people over.rose and paul do not know how to ground me properly seeing as i can still hang out with people just not go out with people..weird. this week of school has been so long but it was kinda fun.. heard an interesting new years story about some kid fucking his girlfriend in a van. i think alex is coming over toinght.. but who knows if he will actulay come, i dont think he realy cares if he sees me or not.
I dono why i started writing in this stupid thing again, i think its that im realy bored latly and i can type fast now from keyboarding. going to cancun in 7 dayss! with Double D and lea bea. should be lots of fun.
And all you want is something i cant be
all you want from me is what you need.
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..Emily..
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| blahh |
[23 Jan 2005|12:56pm] |
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saturday night.. i sat home doing math homework. alex and me both didnt have rides to eachothers houseses. and since my sweet parents are in like colorado i had no ride anywhere. which is just great that they ruined my fucking weekend. love the rents.
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[20 Jan 2005|10:55pm] |
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mood |
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 thoughtful |
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so many things going on. live each day like its your last. just because its not right doesnt mean i cant do it. i think ive stoped caring about right and wrong and started caring about living. living the way i want to, not the way my parents try and tell me to or anyone else for that matter.
things with alex are just i dono. thier really good and he makes me so happy. just talking to him makes me shity day alittle bit better.he called me and said how beautiful the snow was outside, something like that just makes me wonder how i have him and no one else does. he treats me more like a person then a thing.
watched garden state the other day. quite possibly the best movie i have ever seen. it is absoloutley brillent. it made me think and question a lot of different things. ive been sick with strep throat for two days. it isnt that bad being home all day. although i feel like i havnt seen people in forever.ive been eating a lot of fast food latly. i think i am going on a diet soon. ive gained weight. or i need to work out.
lindsey was bad ass today. im proud of her.<3
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[16 Jan 2005|04:37pm] |
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rip jeff <3
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| ahfkjdfdnlfd <3 |
[08 Jan 2005|03:45pm] |
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mood |
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 loved |
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Had ski club yesterday it was alot of fun it was my first day snowboarding. and i absolutley lovee it. i got up on the big hills and could like go fast and i only fell like twice on that hill in the middle. haha i was so proud of myself even though i was scared outta my mind. yay things are really good right now. alex said something to me yesterday without even saying it and it just made my day even better.ali and emily are coming over sooon. peace whores.
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| OoOoOo |
[06 Jan 2005|03:11pm] |
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mood |
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 dirty |
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Wonderful day. haha we had "carrer day" at our school and i watched this presentation on cosmotology... interesting. ate wild berry skiddles.. made my day. mr french got really mad at me today cause he gave me like special permission to take gym a different day. and in gym today hes like wheres klein and someone said i was in the commens and they were like well if she got to do gym a day early why wouldnt i. so he was pissed off at me and came and got me and was all like i do you a favor and this is howyou repay me. he was like dissapointed in me. i was quite sad cause me and mr french are like friends and stuff.. oh well he will got over it eventully. i have to babysit for 3 fucking hours then hockey game maybe. blahh.
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| blahh |
[03 Jan 2005|06:46pm] |
today i felt like complete shit and i still do. like all day i had this stomach ache that would go away for like 15 mins and then come back and when it did come back i couldnt breath and shit. rose is being a real bitch when it comes to eating she like trys to force me to eat when i tell her im not hungrey and that ill eat later she like gets mad. and i always do eat later. cannnt wait til leas house on saturday should be lots of fun. i think alex is like mad at me or like i dono doesnt like me anymore or something..weird lol. lindsey is the highlight of my life because she talks about going to canada non stop when its only january.
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| new year |
[01 Jan 2005|01:34pm] |
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mood |
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 cheerful |
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new years eve was pretty good. had to go out to eat with like my parents and 25 people but i left as soon as my food came. went to my house with ali and got dressed in like 5 mins and left to monicas. their were a bunch of sloppy drunk people there. quite entertaining. monica im sorry you got caught love it will be okay. then we went to leas with all the guys. i got my new years kiss from alex and i loved it. even though he was like i suppose you want a cheesy new years kiss. anywho the night was pretty good even if it wasnt exactly like crazy or anything.
tell me im right that their could be nothing better..
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| time to start |
[31 Dec 2004|01:35am] |
as much as the comments in my last entry were hurtful i know that whoever signed those were not one of my friends. because non of them would ever do that.if people wanted to be popular they wouldnt be friends with me so its apparent thats not why they are my friends. they are my friends because they are the single most greatest people i know and have ever met. ive never met people who care so much about me. they are my real family. its them i cant go a day without seeing. and whatever people think of me they can think. everyone can have an oppinion of me no matter how fucked up and far off they are. ive never been used before ive never done anything horrible with a guy. i dont do fucked up things. but go ahead and think it cause the world will never rid of shady bitches.
now for some things.this winter break has deffntly been interesting and tomorrow is new years eve. cant wait. i better have a fun night. things with alex are going really good i think now.we didnt talk for awhile and then we started to again and i dono if he realized what i did but i knew i missed him. and i dont have to be anything with him then just be with him. cause when im with him nothing really matters im happy and i like it that way.
my parents think their gonna start cracking down on me or something. but we all know that wont happen. my dad went physco on me the other day and told me he was this far away from throwing me into the fucking wall. what a kind man pounding paul is. rose has been alittle bitch latly too dono what her problem is.
i dyed my hair black today it looks cute i think but not that different. jenn agulia did it for mee. thank youu <333. lea ali martha jenna and monica came over tonight. it was fun but like the night was boring. talked to alex on the phone for alittle bit.weird conversations.ate a half a cartoon of ice cream, pizza combos, and an uncrustable.i feel so like fat right now. listening to random songs with andrew.i think im gonna go to bed though.
Don't you feed me lines about some idealistic future
Your heart won't heal right if you keep tearing out the sutures
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